#i enjoyed every bits of feedback you wrote and ngl it made me tear up
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reblogging this feedback on my main because deni here just made me cry and giggle first thing in the morning 😭
was i really that obvious that i love seungmin so much that i poured all of my feelings for this fic? yes, yes i did. this is one of my favorite pieces for a reason ☝🏻 the favoritism is showing 🧎🏻♀️
i’m giggling so much right now that i made you emotional along with that time of day ahh nights when we read 🤭
having this established relationship with seungmin is a dream like there will be a lot of ups and downs but you wouldn’t mind when he loves you so much god when will it be me?
to love and be loved — kim seungmin.
summary : a series of events. from the start to a new beginning. to be in love, to love and be loved—what is a relationship with seungmin look like?
✰ pairing : boyfriend!seungmin x fem!reader (she/her pronouns).
✰ genre : semi-college au, slice of life, established relationship, fluff, a bit of angst.
✰ warnings : use of profanity, mentions of alcohol consumerism and cheating, kissing, semi-proofread, lmk if i missed one.
✰ word count : 9.9k
disclaimer !! after two months of this fic being on standby, it is finally here. this was also posted first based on what the poll results said. please do not forget to reblog and leave feedback! thank you so much. 𖹭 — special mention to chase atlantic��s song, paradise.
𖹭 ⁺ ONE.
To be loved by Seungmin is like a beautiful dream you didn’t want to wake up from. It also visualizes the satisfaction of how you finally completed a puzzle and he was the last missing piece or that sigh of success after finishing a 400-page novel in one sitting. You didn’t know how you ended up here. Maybe there were a few scenarios in which you were crazy enough to capture his heart as well. And for that matter, how did everything start?
A rainy day in the middle of spring had brought an unexpected turn of events. The to-do list was just as simple as counting from 1 to 10, but it became difficult, like a math problem, for someone who hates numerical methods. It all began with a bold confession you’ve seen in dramas based on the execution. Seungmin stood two meters away with his back turned against you while you were shedding tears, ready to be rejected. You didn’t want to repeat those words, and if you did, it would only make him go insane.
“Why don’t you buy me lunch after your thesis defense? ”He said, and that’s what happened. But instead of thanking him, stupid, you confessed your damn feelings while he was enjoying his food. He stopped moving his mouth and had his hand drop the fork on his plate, trying to process your sentence.
“I like you.” It’s just that simple, and he should understand what it means as someone who is always at the top of the class. But it seems hard to fathom, especially when those words come from you. “I like you, Seungmin.” He scoffed at it the second time he heard it, but you were taking all the risks.
Why?
You were supposed to be friends, but what he did throughout college made you think it was more than that when he was just being nice, or that’s what you thought.
He was the one who made sure you’d get home safely every night when your strict professor dismissed you late or you had to stay on campus until midnight. He knows your full schedule every semester, knows the exact components of your to-go drink, knows what you like or don’t like, knows your favorite band, and even bought you their albums as a gift for your birthday, he’d make sure no one would bother you if you fell asleep in the library, he helped you when you were struggling on your homework and stayed up all night with you, he was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on and said “Just tell me your worries,” or when Mr. Park almost flunked you in one of your majors or just let you cry whatever the reason behind those tears that he wanted to wipe away with his thumbs—Seungmin was that kind of friend.
And now, there you were. The sounds of the rain replaced the quiet and awkward atmosphere. He looked at you as if you were insane, and why did the need to mention it now after all the wasted time? Not in a public space, Y/N, not in private either! You were sweating in the cold like a convict who was lying about the crime they committed, and your hands were shaking so much that you couldn’t stab the food with your fork. Was confessing this hard? You were ready to be rejected either way because Seungmin silently judged you to the moon and back.
He took the last bite and drank his iced tea in one gulp before grabbing his coat as he exited the restaurant in the blink of an eye. You were left dejected, but you knew you couldn’t just let him go home without a full essay from your mouth about what just happened.
“Seungmin, wait! ”You called upon following him outside while letting the rain pour above your head. No umbrellas were brought. “Seungmin! ”
There was no response again as he continued walking. Seungmin was already a few meters away from the restaurant when you got out. Was he a fast walker? People started to stare at the both of you, but he didn’t even bother to take a glance at what was behind him. You didn’t want to do it, but you just wanted to end the day without saying your feelings—not on graduation day, not after, but now. And being shunned made you feel restless.
“Seungmin Sky Kim! ”Not the full name, but it made him stop by the sidewalk. Seungmin sighed heavily, his broad shoulders dropping and just letting the rain soak his black locks. You’re not expecting him to turn around and just go finish what you started while standing two meters away. With the rain adding to the dramatic effect, tears being covered by the raindrops, and people watchingーthose words finally came to life.
“It doesn’t matter whether you turn around, but please hear me out! ”You said, breathing heavily. “You told me to tell you my thoughts, feelings, worries, and whatever the hell I have here in my heart, but we’re out here in the rain with your back turned against me, avoiding me,” It was loud enough for everyone to hear, and it was bold of you to do it in public when he knew you were against yourself doing public speech, but here you are. “I like you, Seungmin! I like you so much that it bothers me because I might not be able to see you after graduation. I just don’t want to keep it anymore, and I want to tell you everything. I’m sorry if it’s making you feel uncomfortable or if I’m ruining our friendship because of what I am saying. I can handle it,” You added in between your sobs. “I tried so hard not to have any attachment aside from being friends, and I know you were just being nice, and you helped me a lot. I’m sorry if I loved you more than that when I’m supposed to be just appreciating and thanking you for always being with me. I loved you as a friend, and I love you as someone who sees more than what you think about yourself. Please don’t hate me. You can do whatever you want after this. Just don’t hate me.”
Seungmin didn’t say anything, as he was still standing there as if someone had told him to freeze on his spot when you just called out his full name. Everyone was waiting—not just you, but all the people watching as if you were shooting a scene for an upcoming melodrama type of movie.
“Are you not going to say anything? ” You asked, wiping your face along with tears that got mixed up with the rain. “Seungmin? ” You called once again.
Seungmin didn’t know how to react or what to say after that bold move. What was the purpose of being nice to you? At first, it was pure. It doesn’t usually happen, as he was picky in terms of having friends in college, and he was happy when you fully embraced him. You did things for him when he was the one in need, made sure he ate on time in between his busy schedules, let him sleep in your apartment since it’s just a block away from campus, brightened his day when it felt gloomy, the one who treats him like a literal puppy whenever you get cuteness aggression, the one who accompanied him into several road trips where you share gossips, the one he brought home to his parents during the holidays because you are always his first choiceーfuck the rest of his homies (lovingly), the one who made his heart melt every time he sees you happy… maybe he needed that bold confession of yours to realize something.
You were ready to leave after minutes of waiting and calling for his name, only for him to turn around and actually say something. Just one more minute. Another minute for nothing.
“You know what? It’s fine; you can go. Thank you for listening anyway. Have a nice life, Seungmin.” You smiled, although he couldn’t see. “Show’s over, everyone. Have a nice day,” you added while clapping your hands as the people around you started to whisper to each other.
“Poor girl,”
“Well, that’s how loving someone sometimes, you can’t guarantee they'll return it.”
“Damn, at least say something.”
It wasn’t the pressure from the crowd. There was no pressure at all. It was just him; he was confused and didn’t know what to do. But if you were this bold to tell the whole world that you love him, then it’s time to make a decision.
Everyone was still waiting, even if you had already dismissed them, and not expecting anything from him, but suddenly he turned around, dropped his coat on the wet, cold cement of that fucking sidewalk, and went straight in your direction at a fast pace. You waited for him, and so everyone finally got what they were waiting for him to do. His warm hands were placed on your cheeks as his lips collided with yours. There was a spark. It was so sweet and delicate that it made something melt inside of you. Both of your hearts are racing and your cheeks are burning due to the blood rush.
You get why everyone was loud around the streets of Seoul. Seungmin didn’t let go of you that easily as your bodies pressed together. His lips tasted like what he just consumed with a mixture of iced tea. They were warm and soft, and you could feel his breath as it tickled your nose. It was like a dream or something that only happens on television, or like how a prince kisses a princess for the first time. It is indeed the first time.
“It took you long enough to say it,” he said upon pulling away. You sniffed in response and looked down at your shoes, getting soaked.
“It took you long enough to turn around,” you said, wiping your nose as your eyes met the moment you looked at him. His hands were still warm on your cheeks as he painted a smile on those delicate lips of his that you finally had the opportunity to kiss.
“That was abrupt. I didn’t know what to do,” he chuckled. You didn’t need Seungmin to say the same words in return. That kiss was enough.
“I understand.” You smiled as he planted another kiss on your lips.
“May we go now? We’re going to get sick at this point,” he suggested, making you giggle in response.
“Of course.” Before you did, Seungmin kissed you on the forehead and picked up his coat. A little girl threw petals on your path as a sign of congratulations to you and the other citizens who witnessed such an event.
𖹭 ⁺ TWO.
You believed that you couldn’t find love; instead, love finds you at the perfect time. Seungmin came out of nowhere. It’s like how Isaac Newton discovered gravity after an apple fell above his head or that unexpected strike of lightning in the sky even if there was no hint of bad weather. But thoughts aside, how does it feel to love Seungmin?
It feels like heaven on the inside.
To expand its denotation, Seungmin is the angel that the heavens sent you when you needed someone, especially during those trying times during college, and his role in your life grew as the days, seasons, and years passed by.
It’s beautiful, like a lit candle on the windowsill that serves as your light when the electricity is off. It’s unexpected and accidental, like the spilled ink on an architecture student’s tracing paper that was supposedly a mistake, and yet it made a curious pattern instead. It’s exhilarating, like that portrait of you and him being hung on the wall at his parents’ house, which was taken on that one holiday when he brought you home with him and played video games together, sabotaging him, which made him say, “If I lose, it’s your fault! ”Then you would just laugh it off. It’s refreshing, like watching the ocean and other scenery as the train passes by through the city.
Your heart raced every time you couldn’t sleep until 1 a.m. and would say, “It’s probably because of the coffee.” which you had a few hours earlier, which is not. Blame them for whatever you want; Seungmin is the sole reason behind everything you feel. He’d kiss you in public like a gentleman but becomes dominant when it’s just the two of you; he doesn’t say empty words on those intimate nights and is truly a man of his word. He nags you because he cares; he protects you because he doesn’t want you to get hurt; he treasures you because you’re precious to him; and he needs you because he loves you.
Love is an understatement, and you could say that words defining what loving Kim Seungmin feels like are not enough for a writer to write them in books. The feelings are sincere. They never changed the moment you decided to love him. You admit there were ups and downs in this relationship. Those nonsense arguments in the middle of the night made one of you storm out of the room, yet he came back a few hours later to apologize, finding out his flaws. He’d insist that he’s not the most perfect boyfriend he could offer you, but even if you close your eyes, he still blooms beautifully like a flower after winter, indicating the start of spring. Seungmin is the definition of perfect; you couldn’t ask for anything else.
Kim Seungmin is the person who made you feel loved and adored.
Four years ago, you were just as good as friends—not until your confidence rose like you had consumed a ton of alcohol just to say you loved him. Which you didn't, and yet it was romantic. A confession and a kiss were shared under the rain. Seungmin was happy that you did; you just didn’t seem to understand why he didn’t tell you first when he felt the same and waited for you to make the first move.
“I was afraid you’d reject me,” he would argue. “You’re braver than me,” he defended.
“If I didn’t do it, then we’ll just grow apart after graduation, then? ” You asked, as it made him laugh in embarrassment.
“I was going to tell you after the graduation ceremony, in front of your parents and mine, but someone here got a little bit overwhelmed,” He smiled, ruffling your hair as you huffed in response. “I need to go now, love. I’m running late,” he added, planting a soft kiss on your lips before exiting your room. You hurriedly went out of bed to see him outside, although you had just woken up from a relaxing Sunday night.
“Will you come home early? ” You asked as he was tying his shoelaces by the entryway of your shared apartment.
“I’m not sure, but I’ll let you know when I can, alright? ” He answered. “I’ll see you tonight,” He added after he finished and placed one last kiss on your lips before waving goodbye as he vanished through the door.
A sigh escaped your lips as you locked the door and ate what Seungmin had cooked. He usually wakes up early and cooks for you during the weekdays; it happens every morning, duty calls early anyway, and sometimes he doesn’t spend the night here with you due to his busy schedule. You understand how hectic his job could get; that’s why you visit him if he doesn’t come home and fall asleep while he works. Seungmin doesn’t mind; he loves your presence near him, always.
In the past four years of this relationship, it has been amazing. At first, he was a cute, innocent puppy that thrived to survive from the very first day of being a freshman, the one whose only goal was to compete and win. Which he did, and that includes your heart. It was him from the start without realizing the fact that you were slowly cascading into something you didn’t sign up for. But that didn’t matter now that you were already spending days with him trying to survive life.
“What do you want for dinner? I’ll cook,” he said over the line as he walked toward his car. “I’ll buy ingredients before coming home. Are you almost done with work? ”
“Min, you cooked this morning. Let me do it tonight, I’ll meet you at the grocery,” You smiled at your phone, although he couldn’t see it.
“No, I’ll pick you up. Stay where I can see you immediately, alright? ” He answered while getting in, as a loud thud was heard when he shut the door. “Love you,”
“Okay, I love you too,” you replied. “Drive safely,”
“Yes, Ma’am,”
Seungmin kissed your cheek as you settled on the passenger’s seat, asking how your day went, and the same goes for you, who missed him every bit of the time he was away. It’s like having separation anxiety—you can’t stop thinking that you miss him. The sweet scent of his car, his gentle yet intoxicating perfume, the way he’d hold your hand while the other had its grip on the steering wheel as he kept switching glances from the road to you and vice versa.
Watching him drive with that straight face that sometimes turns bright as his lips form a smile when he giggles in response to what you said or the fact that he is soft-spoken when it comes to you can validate that you are fucking down bad. You can’t blame yourself for putting your guard down when you were the one who fell first, or so you thought.
Having to shop together as an act of sharing quality time is one of the biggest love languages Seungmin could ever offer. He doesn’t mind if you come home late; fuck the working hours the next day; he just wants to be with you.
“Do we have strawberries at home? ”He asked as you strolled over the fruit section. Do you know how much he loves strawberries and can finish a pack within a day? Yes.
“No, they’re all gone to your stomach,” you said, making him laugh, and you took a few packs. “If it’s not the strawberries, you’d be picking a pack of coffee pods. I swear, you’ll become either of those two in your next life.”
“What, a coffee bean or strawberry? ”He asked, confused.
“Yeah, there’s never a day you don’t drink caffeine and a single strawberry, as well as eggs,” you added, which made him do the most adorable thing ever that you couldn’t resist: the sad puppy eyes.
“Is that a bad thing? ”It made you clutch your chest in awe. How could such a grown-up man be this mature yet act like a small puppy?
“Yes, and no,” you huffed. “But please don’t do that; you always get it the way you want when you do that,” you added, which made him chuckle in return.
“Do what? ”He smirked, pushing the cart away.
“The puppy thing,” you argued, following him to the next food section.
“I am your puppy, aren’t I? ”
“Yes, you are.” You sighed while rolling your eyes playfully.
After that, Seungmin gave you a proud smile and went home with everything you bought. He doesn’t let you carry anything and just holds the door for him to place the groceries by the counter. It happens all the time. You have to put them in place and him preparing to cook after washing up—it’s like the bond of a married couple during the honeymoon phase.
Hugging him from behind after admiring his broad shoulders, kissing his cheek after smelling the food he’s cooking, a peck on the lips when he gets flustered, your arms around his waist tightened gently because you didn’t want to let go, he holds your hand while the other one was busy stirring the soup. It’s a form of expressing love without words. Actions with reassurance are better than being comforted with words unaccompanied by effort.
“I’m almost done, love,” he said, but it only made you hug him tighter, earning a heartfelt laugh from him. “You love me that much, don’t you? ”
“I always do,” you pouted as he pressed the off button of your electric stove.
“Come here,” he said, turning around and capturing you into his arms and kissing your lips over and over again, making you giggle in between.
Eating together while catching up on what happened at work, helping him wash the dishes afterward, and poking some soap bubbles on your nose to make you laugh at how childish it was is another form of bonding—a playful one.
“Go to sleep,” he said as you both got into each other’s arms, lying on your shared bed.
“No,” you’d say.
“Then no kisses for you tomorrow,” he answered, which made you frown at the thought.
“Fine,” you said as he kissed your lips softly. “Good night,” you added, looking at him with his cheek squished on the pillow.
“Good night, love,” he said, giving you another kiss on the forehead.
They say you'll fall asleep immediately when you’re sleeping with someone whom you feel safe around, and by that means, Seungmin is that someone. You get so dependent on him that your body gets used to him, and it releases dopamine and serotonin, which is proven to be true. With his arms around your back, his soft heartbeat on his chest, his gentle smell, soft breaths, and cuddly nature, you just wanted to stay there forever.
Living with him and having to spend each day like this is like a dream come true that you never want to end. It is endearing; it has a sense of comfort that you can’t find anywhere but here, with him. And it is something you can call home.
𖹭 ⁺ THREE.
You didn’t know what you did in your past life or why you deserved to be loved by Seungmin. To you, he is perfect. He’s the type of boyfriend that a lot of people want for themselves. It is also hard to understand why he chose you out of all those surrounding him. You were sure it wasn’t because of the non-existent pressure he felt when you confessed to him four years ago, and complaining would be the last thing you'd do in this relationship. So, how does Seungmin love?
He shows it from time to time. A love that you can’t find in somebody else. It existed at the very beginning, and it will last until the very end.
Seungmin couldn’t ask for anything. For him, it was like opening Pandora’s box, but it consisted of great and unexpected good things, like an acceptance letter from his dream university or a treasure chest that would make him automatically rich. And he is the most thankful to have you in his life—probably the most precious gift from the heavens. It’s like a puppy being adopted and falling in love at first sight when he knows who’s going to be his owner.
“I love loving you,” he said. It was sudden, as he was waiting for you to be done packing your things for the trip that you’d been planning for months. A smile was formed on your face, giggling at the fact that it made you caught off guard.
“Why?” You asked softly.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” He laughed making you frown in response. “Maybe because you take care of me so well even during those times when I couldn’t look out for myself, or maybe because you love me too much that I wouldn’t ask for anything more. I can’t answer the question ‘Why?’” He shrugged.
“Well.” You paused, smirking at the thought. “Your actions are speaking louder than words, Love.”
“Hmm, do I?” He asked, tilting his head to the side upon taking the bag off your hands.
“Yeah,” You smiled. “You don’t need words to tell you love someone,”
“Am I not good with words?” He asked, giving you those sad puppy eyes again.
“You are. But please don’t give me that look or I’m going to tackle you down.” You threatened making him laugh in return.
“You love my puppy eyes.” He teased as you rolled your eyes in response.
“Yes, you can show those puppy eyes later! And that should be all. Shall we go now?” You answered.
“Of course,” He said, placing a soft kiss on your lips before leaving your shared apartment. “Can’t wait to spend the long weekend with you!” He beamed excitedly.
He’s not the type to express his love through words. Apart from giving you quality time in this relationship, he also offers acts of service that may have knocked your heart out ever since your university days. He’s the type to do things for you instead of tiring yourself. Seungmin always has his way to your heart without you noticing at first. They can be silly at times, maybe serious, or just the little things; he doesn’t mind. Even for other people, it will just be the bare minimum for a man to serve you, but Seungmin is way bigger than that.
Seungmin loves you like Shakespeare loved his wife and dedicated his sonnets to her. It’s giddy like a teenage girl writing how much they adore her crush in a love letter. It could raise someone’s standards, like how a writer writes and portrays a protagonist who would do anything for their partner—a fictional character that became everyone’s ideal type. Sometimes it would feel like the ice blended well with the whiskey poured into the glass. It's like a florist making their favorite bouquet that consists of the prettiest flowers in the shop. Fun like kids playing on the playground. It's comfortable, like having a cup of hot chocolate as you sit together on a couch while watching the rain on the balcony. Lively and filled with excitement, like seeing your favorite band’s concert, reassuring, like a prayer that always works.
It feels nice.
“Seungmin! ”It would always make him feel nice when you’re around, especially when his name comes out of your mouth like a melody that captures his heart and mind in a split second.
“Baby? ”His heart would race as if it were the first time. A giddy smile would appear as he’d turn around to face you like a puppy getting excited, with a wagging tail, full of expectations, ready to cuddle and smother you with kisses. Hugs are not enough to show how affectionate he is.
“Yes?” Seungmin answered snapping himself back to reality.
“Shall we take a stroll? ”You asked as he watched you enjoy the sunset by the beach as the wind blew around your hair, and tucking it behind your ear made him fall in love with you even more. Beautiful is just a word of restraint from what he sees—a word mixed up with similar definitions. Heavenly.
“Okay,” He smiled.
The genuine smile you’re wearing, the way you laugh, and the way you talk a lot about the beautiful scenery could make him listen to you all day. He’d hold your hand while walking together barefoot on the sand, and the other hand would carry your shoes. You’d always hold him accountable for not looking at anyone but him. Why would you be surprised when he suddenly burst into your door with a full package of everything you wanted? And just like both of your monologues always say, you couldn’t and won’t ask for anything more. Enough is not the right word.
Loving you is one of the greatest decisions he ever made in his life, after thanking his parents for giving him life almost three decades ago. Living in the same lifetime as you, the same year, the same seasons and events, and being grateful are just some of the euphemisms in between sentences. I got love-struck to the brain and heart, then ended up as a lovesick puppy, like seeing stars despite the raindrops. Down bad as fuck.
As the door closed and knobs were locked, with the room installed with dim lights after clicking the second switch, you threw your arms around Seungmin’s neck as he sealed your lips with a kiss, his hands around your waist, pulling you closer to his body. Your fingers played with his new, trimmed black locks that you thought looked good on him. A new style that made your heart go crazy as it showed you another side of him.
He left out a soft sound against your lips, tasting the rosehip lip balm that coated its skin. His one hand found its way to caressing your neck as he deepened the kiss and later held your cheek to make it more passionate and impatient. You know this is not the first time he has ever held you like this as you make out, but it will always feel like the first time. He moved his mouth slowly and gently onto yours, biting and sucking the lower part of your lips, earning a soft groan from you. A smirk was painted on his lips when he knew you liked it. That’s one thing about him: he gets cocky when he knows he gets the upper hand and gets what he wants. But you don’t mind at all; everything from you is for him, and everything from him is for you.
“I love you so much,” he says as he pulls an inch away.
“And I love you more.” You smiled at him, planting a chaste kiss on his lips, and he returned it upon placing another kiss on your forehead.
Seungmin looked at you as you slept comfortably beside him that night. A gentle face with a calm expression as you fall deep into slumber because you know he’s there with you. His fingertips traced your cheeks down to your lips, slowly leaning forward to give you a soft and warm good-night kiss, which made you hum in response, scooting closer. A light giggle escaped his lips while wrapping his arms around your back and leaving another kiss on the crown of your head, feeling your warmth.
“I don’t know why you chose me, but I promise I will love you forever, and if this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up anymore. I love you, Y/N.”
You heard that. He never gets tired of saying he loves you, because why would he when his entire heart was solely captured by you? It doesn’t take a lot of time to fall for him even more. It only made you hug him tighter and drift into a dream.
Seungmin fell asleep immediately after that. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the trip if his hormones are releasing happiness, or if his brain is set so that he has you by his side; it doesn’t matter that much. A long weekend with you feels like a dream after days of working.
The morning came, and he woke up first, like usual. He got up and left the bed, trying not to make large movements to wake you up, and headed to the bathroom. You shifted your sleeping position like a starfish getting washed away from the shore. Seungmin tilted his head like a curious puppy, seeing you under that creased duvet when he came out. His footsteps dragged him to the huge windows from the ceiling to the floor, and he opened the curtains, welcoming the gentle morning sunshine and making you pull the cover above your head.
“Baby! ”He called. “Wake up! ”
“10 minutes.” You groaned when he decided to hover above you and put his weight on your body. “Min! ”You exclaimed, tossing the duvet off of your head and seeing him all smiley.
“Wake up, wake up, wake up! ”He beamed. The only ones missing are his puppy ears and a wagging tail.
“So much energy, Min huh?” You asked while caressing his hair. “What happened to Good Morning?”
“I ate it,” he said, which made you burst out laughing.
“You look happy, Min.” You answered as Seungmin moved away and helped you sit up.
“Why wouldn’t I when I’m with you? Besides, we have a lot to do today and so much to eat. I’m sure my heart will be delightful as much as my stomach,” he said. “I found a breakfast place yesterday when we were coming back to the hotel and thought maybe we could try their food. ”Then there go his puppy eyes again.
“Min, you know, giving me those puppy eyes or not, we’ll do whatever you want at this point. I can’t say no to you.” You huffed in response, making him smirk.
“You’re so down bad,” he answered while slipping into your flip-flops.
“Says the one who doesn’t want to wake up from this dream.” You smirked, making him freeze on his spot.
“You heard? ”He asked, shakingly.
“Every word, Min, every word,” you answered while making your way to the bathroom.
“You were awake?! ”He asked, flabbergasted, as you closed the door, leaving him blushing and painting a sly smile on your face.
Pulling a chair for you to sit on, setting the cutlery on the table properly, wiping the whipped cream excess on the corner of your lips after a bite of a pancake, it went as planned that you visited the breakfast place he mentioned a while ago. The sweet and sour taste of strawberries mixed with the maple syrup and whipped cream indeed, started a blissful morning. Your boyfriend enjoyed it with coffee too albeit the times he said that he’s going to cut off caffeine slowly but you’re sure he won’t be able to do that easily.
Holding hands while strolling around the neighborhood and shopping for cute things, food, maybe a couple of clothes, and other souvenirs, Seungmin was all up for them as you take a picture in front of a mirror every time you get a chance. You giggle at every picture when you swipe through your gallery. Seungmin never fails to make silly poses and act cute. It became a habit of his and on the other hand, he also does his boyfriend duties like taking candid pictures of you if you weren’t paying attention to him.
Seungmin’s love is fresh like spring, warm as summer, cool as autumn, and beautiful as winter. His feelings remained like the very first time you left a blush on his cheeks, your heart beating faster the way a doctor could hear it through their stethoscope, and a shot of espresso in the morning. You can’t blame him if he could still feel this way when the love you gave him from the start never changed. Four years is such a long time, yet it passes by like four days.
Your parents know as much as his. Both agreed and voted for love and devotion. Unbearable fights should be fixed before going to sleep and sealed with a kiss. His friends would tease him, yet they respect you by taming a menace that later became a lovesick, hopeless romantic, Kim Seungmin, who once didn’t believe in forever but wants to spend his eternity with you.
𖹭 ⁺ FOUR.
A back hug in the morning while brushing your teeth in the bathroom, having him pick your clothes for the day, and the same goes for him, asking to let him taste the flavor of your lip tint, but in reality, he just wanted a kiss, which sometimes leads to a make-out session where you have to redo your hair and makeup again, always unpredicted. He is just making you speechless all the time. Does having a relationship with Seungmin always feel like that?
Yes, but at the same time, no.
The spark in this relationship never dies as you two share the same affection for each other, though there are times that Seungmin is hard to love. But there are times when you and Seungmin have to go through tough times. It comes to its peak, especially when he is at his lowest and has unexpected tantrums, and the toxicity of this affair is on the surface. Seungmin is not the type to make himself vulnerable in front of you; instead, he goes far away and makes excuses for you not to bother him.
He gives you the silent treatment when he’s upset; he doesn’t want you to see him cry; he doesn’t want to talk about anything, and you hate it. You know he’s the person who would always initiate a conversation when there was something to be talked about and never let anyone sleep unless the problem had been settled. Yet, it’s unusual for you to scream and shout at each other in the middle of the night as one storm out of the room and the other is left with tears in their eyes, confused about what just happened and where it all went wrong.
Seungmin would always speak up for himself, as long as he was on the right side of the argument. You agree that he gets brutally honest when defending himself, saying that it would hurt you a lot. His words are sharp as knives that can stab you multiple times, and you are just afraid to admit that he always has a point. One thing about him is that he’s mature and mentally strong. He’s like a fire that is hard to wash out when mad (and literally hot). But, on the other hand, he’s careful. There was never a time in your life that he chose not to listen to your every worry, comfort you when you needed it, and reassure you that everything would be fine. He doesn’t invalidate you.
There was this one time when you had a huge fight about him being linked to a co-worker, and he brushed it off, knowing that nothing was going on between them. He reassured you that he was just being polite, not in a way that he’d tolerate the girl’s actions toward him, but jealousy had taken all over your system, and you closed your ears for every piece of explanation he had. Of course, he got mad as to why you didn’t believe him. The sickening sounds of arguments echoed across the room. Seungmin was hurt, and that was the first time he said something that crushed your soul.
“If you don’t trust me, then it was such a fucking waste spending four fucking years with you! ”
“You never admitted I was right, even if you’re wrong! I would always initiate everything first because of your fucking pride! ”
“Did you ever think that I would cheat on you just because of some stupid girl who can’t understand the words that I have a fucking girlfriend waiting for me at home? ”
“I fucking love you, Y/N, so if we’re going to stand on the ground like this, I think we should think about what’s going to happen in this relationship.”
“You disappoint me, Y/N.”
And that’s when he left. You went home to your parents the next day in the province and didn’t even bother to tell anyone, maybe, Seungmin does. The manager at your workplace thought you were just taking sick leave; even your work best friend, Felix, didn’t know what happened or where you were. Seungmin, on the other hand, stayed at his older sister’s apartment and distracted himself from what just happened. He thought about what he said, and it was harsh of him to shoo you away. He was also on leave to take care of himself and his nephew.
One thing about Seungmin is that he’s open-minded. He didn’t get mad when you introduced your male friends to him; instead, he became friends with them, especially Felix. If he gets jealous, then he knows something is wrong behind his back. Unlike you, who would jump to conclusions because you don’t know what’s going on inside their heads. It’s not like you don’t trust Seungmin at all, but you know how other people can be when no one is watching, and you admit you were so sick of thinking bad about your boyfriend.
To him, he can throw this relationship away anytime he gets tired, and you admit it was your fault for adding fuel to the fire. But now, you couldn’t face him. You were embarrassed, afraid of losing him, and anxious that he might fall for someone else, or maybe he could fall out of love. There are a lot of possibilities. And yet, Seungmin doesn’t think any of that. He was so upset about how you acted, and he was so damn tired that night, only to be welcomed by false accusations that led you both to cool off. But Seungmin knew that he couldn’t last a few days without your presence.
And if you’d be honest, you wouldn’t say Seungmin is that walking green flag who is so perfect in front of everyone, neither do you. No one is a green flag. People are just blinded by what they see on the outside and what others say about their partners. You may say that Seungmin is a definition of perfect but not the literal definition of perfect. It is another version of what you see is perfect, a compliment caused by love to remove the flaws from your sight like how your brain dumps unnecessary information to cater to the new ones. There is always that fucking toxicity that they are afraid to admit.
“Uncle! Uncle! ”Minsoo, his 5-year-old nephew, called.
“Yes, baby? ”Seungmin’s attention was caught.
“When is Aunt Y/N visiting? ”Minsoo asked again with those puppy eyes and pouty lips he probably got from his uncle.
“Yeah. I know you guys are not on good terms right now, but it has been days, bro.” His sister heard and added while slicing some fruits for her son. Minsoo took it immediately and pouted at him even more.
“Did you and Aunt Y/N fight? ”He asked and was about to cry. Seungmin was panicking inside that he had to lift the young fellow to sit on his lap and sighed heavily.
“We just had to cool off, okay Bub? When we say cool off, that means we take a break and be alone for some time so we can freshen up and talk later, okay? ”Seungmin was reassured, but Minsoo didn’t buy his statement at first; instead, he became sulky.
“Aunt Y/N loves you so much,” he murmured. “She said she wouldn’t hurt you. I don’t know what that means, but when you and Aunt Y/N were playing with me at the park because Mom was at work, I could see how happy she was while looking at you. You mean the whole world to her, and mine are Mom’s chicken nuggets and ice cream,” Minsoo frowned. Seungmin didn’t know if he was going to laugh or give a long sigh, but his sister at the kitchen counter giggled before making her way to both of them, placing the fruits on the coffee table.
“You remember that? ”Seungmin asked.
“You know Minsoo is quick-witted just like you.” His sister smiled at him. “And he probably loves Y/N more than you too! ”
“Yes,” Minsoo agreed, which made Seungmin laugh in return with made his sister show a bit of concern. Well, she is concerned.
“I don’t want to meddle with your business with her, Seungmin, but as someone who is in a longer relationship than you, it happens. I mean, I’m not going to take anyone’s side in this matter since you’re both in the wrong; her not giving full trust, and you snapped at her for it when there’s nothing to hide,” she said as she fed her son with a bite-sized strawberry. “I know my brother doesn’t tolerate such actions, and there’s nothing wrong with calling her out, but you’ve been staying here for days, not working, and crying at night because of whatever reason that you have. Don’t you think it’s time for you to find her? I’m sure she misses you like you do.”
“I’m always the first one who would initiate making up with her,” Seungmin sighs. “I just want her to realize that she can do it first, you know? Like come up or call me and apologize to me.”
“I know, but if you’re going to wait for her then it might take some time and you don’t like waiting, I know you.” His sister chuckled.
“You said you wouldn’t be biased but it feels like you’re siding with her,” Seungmin said looking at his sister, still feeding his nephew.
“I am not,” She shrugged as he rolled his eyes in return.
Seungmin did think it through the night after that. He couldn’t sleep and kept tossing and turning. It took him a few days before, finally made that engine roar and traveled to the province. His sister’s husband also talked him through when he got home and shared a few drinks. It may have caused a hangover but he got over it and drove out of the city on a sunny afternoon.
He rolled up his sleeves as his veiny hands tightened their grip on the steering wheel while trying to reach out for a signal to call you. A heavy sigh escaped his lips when you didn’t answer any of his damn calls. He called Felix instead, asking how you had been but the latter couldn’t answer for he doesn’t know too, even your whereabouts, and he is also worried.
“Just a sick leave, Lix. I’m not going anywhere but I think I’m going to take some time off from my phone and everything. Don’t worry, I’ll call you when I’m better.” That’s what you told him with that fake smile and red, puffy eyes from crying. Felix let it through and didn’t ask questions. He just went up and gave you the most comforting hug, telling you to be safe and healthy and that you’d call him immediately.
He rested his elbow by the window while his fingers played with his lips as he drove with one hand, drowning in deep thoughts. After days of no communication, he doesn’t know how to speak with you and makeup. It’s not like it’s his very first time initiating a conversation but this is the very first time that you had to not see each other for days. Mostly fights can be solved in one night but maybe Seungmin grew a bit tired that time. Now he’s nervous. He’s driving his way to your parents’s house and will apologize in front of them and to you. He was expecting a lot.
Seungmin was frustrated with that information and hissed after Felix dropped the call. He stepped on the gas as the car accelerated through the highway. It would take hours to get there, and he’s hoping he’d find you before the sun goes down.
He arrived at the hour he expected and parked the car outside of your parents’s house. Seungmin was welcomed by your dad who happened to be taking a stroll around the neighborhood. It was an unexpected visit and Seungmin didn’t give a heads up. He knows it was rude of him to show up unannounced but he didn’t think about it through when all he wanted was to see you.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Your father asked him the moment he stepped out of the car.
“I’m so sorry for coming here unannounced Sir, but I’m here to see Y/N,” Seungmin said with the most respectful bow he ever done.
“She doesn’t want to see you,” Your father scoffed, crossing his arms on his chest and that’s when your mother showed up after noticing the black car from the front porch.
“Seungmin? Is that you?” Your mother asked as he approached the men talking at a distance. Seungmin took a glance at her and bowed again.
“Ma’am.” He said. “I apologize for coming here without telling you in advance. I just thought about coming to see Y/N and apologizeー” But he was stopped when your mother went to hug him and he was caught off guard. He admits it was comforting and reassuring while your dad kept on giving him a death stare. Of course, he knew that he was just being protective of his daughter even though Seungmin is already a legal member of your family. Still.
“She’s in the field with the cows and horses,” She whispered and pulled away.
“Thank you, Ma’am,” Seungmin said and bowed multiple times before running to the open field.
𖹭 ⁺ FIVE.
You were sitting on a swing while looking at the fresh scenery with the air blowing your hair. It has been a while since the last time you were home and you missed life in the province. If it wasn’t for the fight you had with your boyfriend, you wouldn’t be here right now. But you admit you miss Seungmin so much that you think about him, always. And you’ve been thinking about your uncalled behavior that night.
The cold breeze had lessened the heavy weight that you carried on your shoulders as you thought of a solution on how to make up with him. You know told Felix that you’d take some time off from everything and come back when you’re better. The sick leave was abrupt and you couldn’t wait for your vacation to be approved. You don’t know if you still have a job when you come back but it’s just already been a few days to cool off. And as the cows moo and the horses neigh, you just sat there trying too hard to hold those tears knowing that you fucked this up. You miss Seungmin and not talking to him for the past few days has been hard. He didn’t even contact you after your do-not-disturb mode was off. No texts, no missed calls, no emails, nothing.
A heavy sigh escaped your lips as your head hung low, watching your feet sway back and forth as you swung. The crowd was quiet, too peaceful, and lonely. Just a bunch of cows and horses around, judging you. Your head was in your hands as you stopped with your elbows on your knees, trying to think of an excuse to text him. Another sigh of frustration was heard when you couldn’t think of anything. But all worries were washed down when you heard someone was approaching you.
And it was him, the one that you’ve been waiting for.
“Seungmin?” You called as you stood up from your seat.
He was catching his breath.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, approaching him as he stopped meters away.
“Let me breathe for a second,” He said, lifting his index finger in the air as his other hand clutched his chest.
“Did you run all the way fromー”
“From your house to here? Yes. Your mother said you’re here and I forgot about how far this is.” He said still catching his breath. “Look, Y/N, I know I fucked up and I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you when you were just worried but believe me, I would never ever cheat on you. And that’s a promise. There’s no one else in my life but you.” Tears started to form in your eyes as Seungmin held your hands and locked eyes with you. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was so worked up that I yelled and said those words without holding myself up and not thinking that it would hurt you. And I’m sorry for not calling you these past few days because I was reflecting and I heard from Felix not to disturb you. I hope you forgive me.” He said, pulling you closer to his body and planting a soft kiss on our forehead before taking you all in his armsーhugging you tightly as if he never got to hold you in years.
“I’m sorry,” You said as you were sobbing on his chest. “I didn’t mean it to be like that I was just paranoid. I know you’re a bad guy, Seungmin. I’m sorry.”
“Shh, shh it’s okay. We’re both here now.” He said in the softest and sweetest voice he could ever do as he kept on kissing the crown of your head while caressing your hair. “I love you, okay? No one could replace you in my heart, ever.” It made you smile a bit, but you were still guilty about what happened that night. You accused him.
“Still, I was dumb…” You said. “How could I do that to you when all you did is to love me faithfully.” You added as you looked down on your feet again. Seungmin took a deep breath as a smile curved on his lips, taking his fingers on your chin as he lifted your head gently to look at him in the eyes again.
“You are not dumb. Don’t say that to yourself, okay? I know it’s hard to trust us men these days because of the cheating culture but don’t ever think of me that way, baby, okay? Like I said, no one could ever replace you in my heart even if you think otherwise. I’m true and I’m standing my ground. Even if your father wants to shoot me, I will take the bullet to prove how much I am true to you.” And it only made you cry more. How could someone be as comforting, endearing, and perfect as him? “And I don’t blame you for thinking so, but, I hope you wouldn’t think about me like that again. It hurts, you know?” You nodded in response.
“I’m sorry,” You said.
“We’re good now, love.” He smiled, giving you a quick kiss on your lips.
“I have something to say,” You said, looking at him.
“What is it?” He asked.
“The last few days, I’ve been thinking about you a lot.” You started while playing with your fingers. “I know I played a huge part of the problem and taking some time off made me realize how I was so fucked up that night. I swear, that wasn’t me who was talking but I was just afraid that maybe one day, you’d leave me because I was the one who called you in public to confess four years ago because I fucking love you so much that I would die if you’re not going to be mine.” Seungmin stood just there, amused and in awe of what you’ve said, and now you’re thinking that he might be thinking that you’re crazy but he’s yours now. No one could ever take Seungmin from you.
“I know, I’m crazy and there’s a lot of me that are yet to be relieved. I don’t know what caused that argument maybe that stupid bitch and I’m guilty, okay? I just wanted to let everything out of my chest before we proceeded to this relationship that I almost ruined. I overthink too much, I am selfish sometimes, and I hurt you a lot, I made you cry, I was the reason you snapped at me, I’ve got a lot of crazy things inside my head and it’s making me go insane…” The rest of the words became a blur to Seungmin. He doesn’t need to hear everything as he admired the way you vent out and you were so cute walking in circles just to explain yourself. That didn’t matter now. You are the most beautiful person in his world.
He pulled you towards him again as he crashed his lips against yours, kissing you passionately as his hand cupped your cheek and the other snaked around your waist. It was unexpected. You both stood on the wide green grass field with the cows and horses as the audience as you shared a kiss under an orange sky and a bright sunset.
The kiss deepened as your eyes closed, feeling the intimate and adrenaline kind of rush that Seungmin’s lips have brought. It was tentative, soft, and hot, both of your hearts were pounding with every bit of movement and rhythm. His thumb started caressing your cheekbones gently as he pulled you even closer to engage the feeling of longing to kiss your lips and the warmth you’d always give. You could feel his hot breath against your nose as your fingers entangled with his black locks, playing with them. Seungmin smiled in between your lips before leaving a soft peck on it and proceeded to kiss your forehead.
“If you’re that worried, marry me.” He said as you both pulled away.
“W-what?” You asked as you got caught off guard.
“I know you’d say something like that but again, if you’re worried that much then,” He paused as he took out a small box from his pocket and went down on one knee. “Marry me.” He added, opening the box to reveal a ring with an authentic sapphire on it. Your hands went to cover your mouth in shock as tears started to stream down to your cheeks. What the fuck, Kim Seungmin.
“You already know how much I love you and to make a seal of this relationship, this is a promise that we will love and trust each other no matter what happens. You don’t have to worry about it anymore, Y/N. Marry me so you’d be officially mine and I’ll be legally yours.” He said. “Will youー”
“Yes! Yes fuck yes!” You cried as you went down on your knees and hugged him tight. Seungmin giggled at the sight as he pulled out the ring from the box and gently placed it around your ring finger after you pulled away.
“I love you,” You told him, eyes filled with tears as he wiped them off with his thumbs.
“I love you too.” He said. “More than anything in this world,” He added as he hugged you again.
“I’ll forever cherish this moment, love.”
“Me too, baby…” He replied, hugging you tight. “And we should go now, your dad was glaring at me when I arrived.”
“You came all over from Seoul to here without saying anything, he was probably surprised.” You answered as you both went back on your feet with Seungmin grabbing the small box and giving it to you to place the second ring on his finger.
“I did it for you.” He said, stealing a kiss on your lips.
“Don’t make me say, I love you, twice.” You said as you gave him another kiss.
“You just did,” He smirked as you both giggled at the end and went back to your parents’ houseーhappy about what just happened.
Bonus: His sister sent you a video of him when he was so drunk, crying and wailing to his brother-in-law about how much he loves and misses you. He also bought the ring after the trip when he realized that he was ready to settle down. Seungmin was sure that you’re the one he’s going to marry anyway, no one else.
✰ taglist ─── @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89 , @lashaemorow , @hanjsquokka , @suebin , @starlostastronaut , @stayconnecteed ( open. )
©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.
#i don’t really mind you guys are gonna yap on the tags because i love reading them 😭#the confession is a result of my kdrama addiction (drinks coffee)#if you love someone you can never define it with words and it’s true#damn i can’t even describe how i felt watching seungmin perform and it hurts my heart 😔#the metaphors are making me live as a writer 🫶🏻#HE WON'T CHEAT IF YOU HAVE DOUBTS HE WILL PROVE THAT'S HE'S NOT DOING ANYTHING BAD BEHIND YOUR BACK BUT SEAL IT WITH A PROPOSAL ☝🏻#being loved by seungmin is like a dream come true my beloved 😭#seungmin is so down bad (sings down bad by taylor swift ; now i’m down bad crying at the gym~~)#“if you’re that worried (comma) marry me” that’s the only thing we all need 😭#thank you so much for loving this seungmin fic of mine deni!#i enjoyed every bits of feedback you wrote and ngl it made me tear up#you noticed the details i wrote and yapping over how down bad seungmin is 🤧#i’m so over the moon i hope you get a good sleep and wake up happy!#gonna read this feedback all over again to get through the day 🩷#ーfeedback ☎️ !
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House of Cards || Jimin
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Word Count: 1551
Warnings: Break up. A lot of angst.
A/N: This is my first imagine/oneshot/thing. Inspired by the legendary song, House of Cards. At first I thought it was a sex song, ngl.. but I discovered it’s more than that. So I decided to write it based off my second interpretation which I see a lot of people agree with. Feel free to give feedback. I actually wrote this at 2am in the morning so I do apologise for mistakes, I tried my best though! Enjoy~!
Synopsis: You and Jimin were in love, until your secret and his own was revealed, and a paradise you both had built comes crashing down.
For a very long time, the two of you were in love. 3 years ago you met Jimin through your best friend whom you grew up with; Hoseok. At first you two were simply friends, but it quickly changed into relying on each other, calling one another at 3am over a silly but at the time serious issue until Jimin finally had the courage to ask you on a date. Well the date never actually happened until a few months later into your relationship with him as he was busy, he had so many interviews, performances, practice, even studying to do that he didn’t have time for the special date he had planned.
Despite only being on just a few dates, you two were in love. You both were in that early stage where you literally could not get enough of each other for a very long time, 2 years to be exact. You rarely fought, if you did it wasn’t minor, it was big. Jimin had a switch, and it wasn’t pretty when he let out his anger. But those moments wouldn’t last long, they’d pass after a good night sleep, or simply talking and explaining.
Jimin had told you 4 months into the relationship he wants both of you to be honest, which you were. You told him when you were sad, he told you when he just didn’t want to talk because of something that happened that day. He told you when he was feeling ill despite not wanting to worry you. But with this type of honesty comes the horrible, gut wrenching truth that makes you question whether hearing the truth is better than a lie.
When you told him you made out with Jungkook 2 and half years into your beautiful relationship, even you wanted to just block your ears and pretend you weren’t hearing it. Saying it out loud was like setting the truth in concrete, no other way out. “You’re joking right?” He said with a fake chuckle, a clearly worried expression. As soon as he saw the cheeks run down your cheeks a giant wave of emotions hit him; anger, sadness, confusion, but most of all, betrayed. He felt betrayed by the person he trusted even more than the members.
He didn’t know what to feel. He was mad but crying at the same time, smashing a glass bottle in his room to vent frustration that didn’t relieve him even in the tiniest bit. Somehow, in just one moment, the heaven he thought he was in with you, came crashing down, into the realisation that it isn’t a paradise, it’s simply reality. A reality he wanted dead. Nothing else was said that night. You stood there silently sobbing while he just clenched his fist and start hitting the desk while a flood of tears ran across his cheeks, over his lips, falling off his chin. The next morning is when everything was decided.
He had slept on the chair while you slept in the bed, you were surprised to say the least when he offered the bed to you after what you told him. Jimin came to the conclusion that it was ‘Just a kiss’, he convinced himself he didn’t care. You reassured him it meant nothing, so he took that as truth. He believed you, and went on. “You’re forgiving me?” He looked up at you just as he stood from his chair and nodded, with a sorrowful look on his face. “Yes. You said it meant nothing… that it only for a few seconds. I believe you.” He didn’t make any eye contact for the entire day, not with you or Jungkook. You felt scared, nervous as you watched him throughout the day, interacting with people like his usual self, not beating Jungkook to a pulp as punishment, not leaving you or giving any hint to do so in the future. He was Jimin, sweet, shy, cute, happy, bubbly optimistic Jimin.
Over the next 2 months it was never mentioned again. Jungkook didn’t even know you had told Jimin. It was never spoken about between anyone. You both went on as if it never happened, you mended. Of course you only thought everything was okay, until he revealed his cheating secret as well. That he slept with a random girl he met, or to be exact, he did some foreplay with her then left. “I wanted to.. I wanted to go through with it. But I couldn’t.” He admitted to you. You expected him to not feel guilty, but you could tell it was destroying him. But you had no idea how to react, get angry? Cry? Walk away? Break up? Forgive him like he did you? You felt the same emotions he felt, and it made you feel even more guilty over what you did, knowing you made him feel this way. “I promise, I’ll never do anything like it again. I’ll be loyal to you, I’ll stay with you. Please.” He begged, he pleaded without you even saying anything. He knew he could lose you over this, and tried everything in his power to keep you. But it was simple for you. You loved him. “I forgive you. We both made a mistake.. We’re even I guess.” He was shocked at how quick it was for you, but most of all at the ‘even’ part of your sentence.
You didn’t stay the night with him, you went home and contemplated your life with him, whether there is any trust in the relationship. After concluding that you still trusted him despite the fact that he sought out revenge, and got it in the end, you went to sleep. To start another day that was normal. It never happened is how you acted. Until a week later, something boiled inside of not only you, but him. Resentment. The way you spoke to each other always had a passive aggressive undertone that neither of you acknowledged.
You would have arguments often before bed, then you would make up before sleep, starting the same cycle over and over again. The members questioned you both, to which you both honestly answered. Jungkook felt more awkward than anyone, the others berated him, telling him off for doing something so wrong and stupid. “Don’t worry, everything is okay.” Jimin reassured not only the maknae, but all of the members. But it was as clear as a crystal that it wasn’t okay.
The members would gather in the living room while you both argued in Jimin’s room. “They’re yelling at each other again.” Taehyung would say through a depressing tone. It hurt him to see his best friend and his girlfriend fighting. But they all refused to take sides, even Jungkook stayed out of it the most. It was a vicious cycle that wasn’t just affecting you and Jimin, it was affecting the members, the staff, even fans noticed something was wrong with Jimin, he was snappy, irritable and just not his usual self.
You both could see it was hurting others, but every time you argued the topic of breaking up always slipped into the conversation. It never happened though, it was always solved with ‘I love you’. Until one night, you decided it was too much.
“Jimin, what we’re doing… it’s hurting every one. You know, I was okay at first.. It hurt me, a lot, but it was okay because I loved you more than the amount it hurt. And it was just me, I chose to stay, to shoulder that pain. But they aren’t. They aren’t even in this relationship yet they are so hurt by it.” You told him as kindly as you could, sitting on the chair in the far corner of his room, just a few feet away from the door. “I know… I’ve been thinking about it too. How maybe, it would hurt us less if we just broke up now. Have those months of pain but we’d move on eventually. No one else would be hurt too.” It was the first time you both spoke without yelling, without an aggressive tone or demeanour, it was how you use to talk before everything fell apart.
“So if we both are on the same page. We should just end it.” You finally looked up from the floor, and saw the tears pooling in his eyes. Usually you’d hug him at this point, but it’ll start the cycle again. You couldn’t, even you were tearing up, praying he wouldn’t hug you but that he also would. So you stayed in your chair. “We aren’t happy.” He bluntly stated. It hurt you more than you care to admit, every time he spoke with such honesty, it tore you apart. You knew the truth, but when it’s spoken, it becomes real.
“We’re done.” He said. And that was it. The smallest of words said in a short amount of time, broke the house you both built quickly. You picked up your jacket, put it on and left without a kiss, without a hug, without him making eye contact. You left. You’d never see him again unless it was on T.V, social media accidentally, or the times you felt lonely and stalked their twitter. You didn’t see any of them ever again. It was all over.
#bts angst#bts imagine#bts one shot#jimin one shot#jimin angst#jimin imagine#bts fanfiction#jimin fanfic#jiminxreader#break up#bts reaction#i dont know what tags to put#is there anything else#ugh#anyway#i hope you like it#bts scenario#bts fluff#not really but hey 🤷🏻♀️#masterlist
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